God is just so good. There's no other way to say it.
For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I grew up without a Dad and I am working through the effects of not having one in my life. Well, God has been teaching me so much about Dad stuff thatI sometimes have to stop and realize what is going on.
About a year ago, I had a Pastor tell me that "if it were meant for me to have another daughter, I'd choose you." As astounding as that was, I didn't know what it meant - what it entailed. The town we moved to this fall is the town that Pastor is - it's the one we are learning from and being discipled by.
I was talking to him about my Dad situation and he told me that I may never have the type of Dad relationship that I want. That urked me. It meant that I had to grieve the idea of having that 'Perfect Dad Relationship'. I was mad, well downright angry, but God helped me work through it. So did the Pastor. We'll call him PM.
As I was working through it, God showed me so much about Him being my Dad - Abba. I worked through the Anger Steps (without realizing it) and I grieved. The last step was me writing to the Dad I Wish I Had. I started a blog just for that. If you read through the 4 short posts, you'll see that God completely changed me and my thinking. It was an amazing wondering experience that will impact me for the rest of my life. It changed my life when I realized that the Dad I Wish I Had is the Dad I Do Have in my Heavenly Father.
I shared my good news with PM. He knew that was a step I needed to make and a place I needed to reach.
Since then, PM and I haven't really talked much about our Dad/Daughter relationship - until tonight. He noticed at the event we had tonight that I wasn't really with it and that I was annoyed. He came over to our house just to see if I was okay. He just wanted to talk. He said that my Dad (him) cares about me and loves me - whatever it is that's going on or what I do, he still loves me. Before he left, he said, "I need a Daughter hug before I go." I started to cry. I said, "It's still so hard to hear that."
All my life I've wanted a Dad. I know that I missed out on so much. Now that I realize that God is my Abba, I can let PM love me like a Dad. I can build a Dad/Daughter relationship with him. He can give me the 5% that God has entrusted to him to give me - "A father to the fatherless". God shows His love to me by using the men in my life to be God with a Face. PM has taken on the physical role of Dad, but God is my Abba - my Daddy - my spiritual Father who fulfills my Dad Dreams.
So, I thank God. He is an incredible Daddy that loves me and wants to spend time with me. I can spend every moment of everyday with Him and He never tires of me or grows weary. He enjoys the time I consciously spend in His presence.
I also thank PM. Without his gentle guiding and leading, I don't know that I'd be at this place. Thanks PM for your Dad Hugs and for taking on the physical role of my Dad.
I am so blessed.
For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I grew up without a Dad and I am working through the effects of not having one in my life. Well, God has been teaching me so much about Dad stuff thatI sometimes have to stop and realize what is going on.
About a year ago, I had a Pastor tell me that "if it were meant for me to have another daughter, I'd choose you." As astounding as that was, I didn't know what it meant - what it entailed. The town we moved to this fall is the town that Pastor is - it's the one we are learning from and being discipled by.
I was talking to him about my Dad situation and he told me that I may never have the type of Dad relationship that I want. That urked me. It meant that I had to grieve the idea of having that 'Perfect Dad Relationship'. I was mad, well downright angry, but God helped me work through it. So did the Pastor. We'll call him PM.
As I was working through it, God showed me so much about Him being my Dad - Abba. I worked through the Anger Steps (without realizing it) and I grieved. The last step was me writing to the Dad I Wish I Had. I started a blog just for that. If you read through the 4 short posts, you'll see that God completely changed me and my thinking. It was an amazing wondering experience that will impact me for the rest of my life. It changed my life when I realized that the Dad I Wish I Had is the Dad I Do Have in my Heavenly Father.
I shared my good news with PM. He knew that was a step I needed to make and a place I needed to reach.
Since then, PM and I haven't really talked much about our Dad/Daughter relationship - until tonight. He noticed at the event we had tonight that I wasn't really with it and that I was annoyed. He came over to our house just to see if I was okay. He just wanted to talk. He said that my Dad (him) cares about me and loves me - whatever it is that's going on or what I do, he still loves me. Before he left, he said, "I need a Daughter hug before I go." I started to cry. I said, "It's still so hard to hear that."
All my life I've wanted a Dad. I know that I missed out on so much. Now that I realize that God is my Abba, I can let PM love me like a Dad. I can build a Dad/Daughter relationship with him. He can give me the 5% that God has entrusted to him to give me - "A father to the fatherless". God shows His love to me by using the men in my life to be God with a Face. PM has taken on the physical role of Dad, but God is my Abba - my Daddy - my spiritual Father who fulfills my Dad Dreams.
So, I thank God. He is an incredible Daddy that loves me and wants to spend time with me. I can spend every moment of everyday with Him and He never tires of me or grows weary. He enjoys the time I consciously spend in His presence.
I also thank PM. Without his gentle guiding and leading, I don't know that I'd be at this place. Thanks PM for your Dad Hugs and for taking on the physical role of my Dad.
I am so blessed.
4 comments:
Just wanted to say PJ how touching this post is and how happy I am that this realization has hit home to you so deeply. Awesome stuff. I grew up with a dad in my life and I can attest to the fact that they can also inflict a lot of damage that can take a lifetime to work through. I still love my Dad, but realize he will never be able to meet my Daddy needs in the way that I crave. Thank Heaven for God! (((hugs)))
Coco - my biological father wanted my Mom to have an abortion. He was an alcoholic. I am certainly thankful that I didn't have to grow up with him - I am sure I would have had damage inflicted on me, too, and I would have a lot to work through. I know God spared me from more pain by us not living with him. I am not sad about that part.
And, the Dad I found in PM was totally worth the wait.
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GOD BLESS YOU
warm greeting from Bali ^^!
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